your life is not over

I know how you feel, because I sat in a waiting room by myself and felt the same way. Cried while filling out the paperwork and threw up when they confirmed my fear. The feeling that nothing is going to be okay, it can't be okay. The overwhelming pressure in your chest and eyes and head when you think about people finding out. Thinking all the homework, studying and exams meant nothing because you will have to quit school now. Falling into the trap the world sets up for you about life being over when you get pregnant before marriage. at 19. A sophomore in college. Nobody wants to be a single mom, nobody wants to date a single mom. How will I afford being a single mom? Will my family ever even talk to me again?

Comforting words from friends and family can only go so far. They start to accept the idea, but have you really accepted the way your life is about to change? Probably not. Because you really have no idea how it's going to change. As everyone jumps on board the train that's going to keep moving whether they get on or not you make plans, buy nursery items, plan a baby shower, pack the hospital bag.

Then reality hits. 8 pounds, 11 ounces, 22 inches long of REAL LOVE. Real, screaming, crying, hungry, needs his mommy more than anybody in the world, love. My second thought, after the immediate holy cow this just came out of me...Why did they leave me alone with this baby??? I have no idea what I'm doing. Why is he making all of these noises? What is that smell? Did I really just spill sprite all over him? I'm doing this wrong. How will I even know this is right?

Thankful for all the help from family and sleep deprived, you begin to piece this new life back together. Maybe your thoughts were right a little,your life the way it was is over. It's really about this new life. But this new life is so busy and full of diapers you have no idea you're missing that part of you anymore.

Once the craziness calms down, he starts to hold his bottle by himself, maybe even sleep for longer than 3 minutes, you start to miss your friends and free time. It's really hard at first but you find out who really cares for you when your time is limited and you can't swing by a party every night of the week. When he's asleep and you think you are bored, the last productive thing you can do is stalk all of your "friends" social media posts to see what fun you're missing out on. Think about all the fun you two had that day. Do something for yourself. Netflix, workout, shower? Something more productive than making yourself feel left out. Your little buddy appreciates you, mom.

Work starts, school starts, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO STARTS. Your life is not over, you just have someone little to share it with. His life is just beginning. Your biggest fan and motivator who is the reason you may rush home a little earlier than usual because you can't stand being at work without him one second longer. Please don't limit yourself. I know it's so hard when the world wants you give up but keep pushing on. When laundry and homework are done at 2AM and you're tired and just want to stop YOU are the one that has made it this far, don't give up on yourself.

Your new beginning with this little person life. You answer your own questions without even thinking about it. You have plenty of new things to do that you probably never thought you would be doing. Birthday party planning, 15 doctor's appointments, cleaning, playing in the sandbox, driving around looking at 12 neighborhood's worth of Christmas lights, stopping when you pass cows so you can "moo" at them. This list could go on for about 8 pages. You figure out how to make it work. You figure out how to afford things, you figure out that your family couldn't stay mad because they melt whenever they hear his laugh.

At some point you realize you are allowed to have friends. It took me alot longer than most people to accept that sometimes mom is allowed to spend baby free time. It's actually really good for you to, probably because more often than not it reminds me that the "party life" isn't for me anymore. The coolest friends though, are the ones that want you to bring him along. They enjoy having him in their life and care about what is going on in yours. They get that it's your life with him. You'll appreciate that more than you ever could imagine. Hang on to those people and don't let them go.

The biggest evidence I can offer as proof that life isn't over just changed by my little guy is that the questions surged my thoughts sitting in the waiting room chair at The Hope Resource Center on December 28, 2011 are not worries of mine anymore. I seldom worry about how things will effect me because I am too worried and concerned about how they will effect him. One thing is for sure, most of the time when you are looking for something, Nolan probably hid it in the microwave.

No mother is an expert at parenting. I have no advice on how to be a rockstar role model and teacher for my little guy. But I can tell you I am confident you will figure it out.

You chose life for your little one and yourself, live it! 

Tonka Truck Party!

This week is officially the beginning of my summer, which for me means it's time for birthday party planning starts full force. I have gotten so much done today that I am SO excited about, but also really sad because Nolan is about to be 3.. how did that happen??? He's basically an adult and it makes me wanna cry a little. ANYWAY with all of the excitement that my new found free time has given me in planning this party I thought I would share with you all a little from last years! It was tonka truck themed and soooo fun to work on! 

The name board was just a black foam poster board from the dollar tree and metallic sharpie like markers. I listed his favorite things and little details about how he is growing. I like keeping this boards and using them in his yearly pictures to track how quickly he is growing. 

I wanted the party favors to be interactive for the kids and true to the truck theme so the safety glasses/goggles and hard hats were perfect! I added truck stickers to glasses and goggles and made the hard hats a "decorate your own" option with stickers and markets. I found the cutest stickers at the dollar store along with the tiny tonka trucks. 

I also found orange aprons and glued stickers with trucks on them that said "Nolan's Crew" which took soooo much time but turned out SO adorbs!!!

The coloring station was something I've always wanted to try from Pinterest and it was super simple to set up. Just printed out the trucks and added Nolan's name then sat crayons in little cups. I ended up putting some of these around the tables and the grown ups colored more than the kids did. 

My ever so talented sister made the perfect cake on the table!

We added the dollar store trucks to tie it all together plus the CONE CANDLES- my favorite part of the entire party. The easy cupcakes were nice for people to grab if they didn't want cake. 

These awesome Cone Cups (birthday express or amazon) were kinda pricey but we still use them a year later for juice so hey they were worth it and doubled as great decor. 

The food table was so fun to put together

I put saran wrap inside the dump trucks and

 served chips and chick fila chicken nuggets out of them

The photo booth was my favorite part of this whole party! I used real caution tape from 

Home Depot as the backdrop and bought photo booth props from Walmart that were already on sticks along with silly hats that we used from his first birthday photo booth. This was much easier than trying to make my own props and saved alot of time!

this working mom thing

Being a working mom is like trying to pat your head and rub your belly at the same time. When you first try to do it, you think that it is pretty impossible but if you work at it enough you can actually do it without even thinking. I really feel that way lately. I've learned to juggle a lot in a short amount of time but there are a lot of times I feel like I add something else and have to concentrate on getting everything back on track again.

I was so excited to finally start a blog but of course this spring has flown past me faster than I could have ever imagined. The past 8 weeks have been the busiest and most testing that I have encountered so far. I have worked far longer hours and spent more time away from Nolan than I had planned, not that I am not so thankful for the opportunities that I've been given at my job- but it's been a struggle to spend as much time with him as I would like to and do everything I need to do. We have fallen into a pretty good routine, as regular as the hours I work will permit, including snuggling and watching the Octonauts every night. I used to think that co-sleeping was the worst thing ever because it starts bad habits but it's the only time I see my little guy some days. I'm thankful he will only sleep with his toes underneath his mommy because I know there will be a day he won't anymore!

When people say that every kid is different and wants to potty train on their own time, they are not kidding. I made charts, tried bribery, bought every pair of underwear that Target offers in size 2T but of course the minute I hit the road with the softball team towards Columbia, South Carolina I get a call that Nolan has decided to pee in the potty. We haven't really looked back from when he decided other than a few accidents and I now have a 95% of the time toilet using little boy!!!! It's amazing. I have no cool tips or tricks on how to hurry the process along but just had to share how proud I am of him.

I am usually all about giving advice on how to do anything but really the only encouragement I can give to other mom's in my shoes or that feel overwhelmed with everything life has thrown at them is keep going, you're doing a good job. Sometimes it may feel like you're drowning or not doing it right but those are the times you're probably doing your best. When you're spread thin, take a break and take care of yourself. I wish I could take my own advice on that one more but I am learning that sometimes I really must have a netflix break or I will lose my mind.

It's all worth it when the smiling face YOU CREATED lights up and runs towards you the minute you walk through the door. There is really nothing like it. I pray one day he can comprehend how much I love him.

Doing Disney Pt 1: The Packing Plan

   Doing Disney Pt 1: The Packing Plan

Okay, so never did I think that people would actually read this thing- but since you all are here I'm going to put it to good use! I am going to start talking about going to Disney World with littles If you follow me on any other social media then you know we have been lucky enough to venture to Disney World a few times with Nolan. Every single time is a new experience and is more fun than the last. The more he grows, the more fun he has! I'm no expert by any means, but every once in a while I will share my tips and suggestions for taking a little one to the most magical place on earth! 

Depending on the age of your little mouse and how long you are planning on staying, the luggage alone could need it's own room at a resort. Obviously you need the basics (clothes, diapers, wipes, socks, shoes) but I will share the 3 most important tips about packing for Disney World I can pass along!

1. Plan for any kind of weather. Of course you will check the forecast a million times before your big trip but you never know what is going to happen. When they say it's windy, they mean it at Disney. It's probably best to bring clothes for any type of weather that the season could bring. We usually go in winter but I pack enough shorts and pants for both. 
*Bring your baby a rain jacket* Disney does not sell kid's rain jackets anywhere, we looked for an entire afternoon one day. They do allow umbrellas in the park too! 

One day you're bundled up

the next you are in shorts

2. Bring a backpack/diaper bag with you to the park.
Be sure to include snacks and drinks in this bag for the day! Uncrustables (ya know the PB&J sandwiches) are $6 EACH inside the parks. Get a box before you come and save a lot of money by packing them in your bags for a snack! 
I also include: sunglasses, sunscreen, hat  (aka the fair skin people essentials), water bottle, oragel, tide to go, chapstick, tylenol for you and them, wipes because you never know, hand sanitizer, aquaphor, change of clothes, iPad and portable phone charger. Also anything else your child will need if they are sleepy or need to be entertained while waiting in a line for a ride. If you are still changing diapers I would suggest a changing mat &/or clorox wipes because the baby stations inside the restrooms have hundreds of little butts on them a day. 

3. Your stroller is your best friend. I have a Britax B-Agile stroller and it's so great for Disney. It folds up in a breeze and is very light so taking it on the buses and boats is very easy! I also bring a stroller fan (they sell them in the parks too) for when it's really hot and it's time for a stroller nap. Be sure your stroller has an identifying characteristic like a luggage tag or monogram because Disney is a sea of strollers and the last thing you want is to get into a theme park war over who a stroller belongs to. They also have stroller rentals and for some people this is a better option because you don't have to fool with them once you leave the park. 

Some other random things I bring in my suitcase with me that always make the trip better: surge protector so all phones/ipads get charged, bath tub toys so he will actually want to take a bath even though he's exhausted from a 12 hour day, BLANKETS because the resort rooms are freezing cold. 

Obviously there is so much more to cover but I will go by different topics as I post! It's so important to research everything before you take your first visit to Disney World with little ones. Planning out the day with what to bring and where you are going can try and save time and a little sanity! 

xoxo 

HEY WORLD

If you're reading this, then you already know that pictured about is the love of my whole life. Nolan Gordon Thomas Musick entered my life at 4:22PM on August 13, 2012 and I was forever a different person. I spilled sprite on him when he was an hour old and he has pooped, peed and thrown up on every article of clothing I own. I wonder about 15 times a day how they let me bring a human home with me because I still have no idea what I am doing- but it's been so fun learning how to figure it out! We like to do things differently than most of the other young moms I know (and I know alot). I'm not a ~granola mom~ meaning I sometimes maybe let him drink coke and consume high fructose corn syrup, and I'm not really an attachment/my child was potty trained at birth/don't ever leave my sight parent either-- not that there is anything wrong with anyone who claims those titles proudly, I'm more of a mykidisstillaliveandbreathing mom. If he will eat something I give it to him because he has no appetite 3/4 of the day, if he wants a sword or $20 Olaf from Disney on Ice I am probably gonna complain but still buy it for him, I take him to the doctor so much we exchange Christmas cards with the nurses and as much as I would love to sleep in my own bed by myself, when his "fancy" big boy bed doesn't cut it for him he takes over every square inch of mine and leaves me the edge. My heart oozes love from every part for this kid and I will do whatever I need to make sure he is happy and healthy, the other stuff really just happens and I deal with it.

I also can't really say "I" because I am a single mom and with the single mom title comes an army of other people that help make this whole alive and breathing thing possible. My family helps me in every way possible and have pushed me to remain motivated and concentrated on the future instead of dwelling on the decisions of my past. I would not have graduated college on the deans list and had gained acceptance to one of the nation's best sport management graduate programs without them to help me with my little man through my all nighters and 65 hour work weeks.

I have always wanted to start a blog but since I had Nolan I've literally been so consumed in homework and trying to make sure he doesn't scare strangers away when we go in public that I haven't really had time to. I just graduated and have a little time before grad school in August so I thought I would give it a try.

More than likely this won't be anything deep or meaningful that people will repost on their facebook status for months to come, but I can throw pretty awesome birthday parties (which I will share photos of soon) and I am going to be sharing some tips on how to take over disney world with an a toddler.. (and infant because we did that too) and probably just other random happenings from my life as a full time athletic intern/mommy to a wild n out two year old.

I'm sure about 2 or 3 people will read this but if you happen to find it I hope you enjoy it. I will try to post when I can but that will be between work and wiping a snotty, sticky, beautiful face.